i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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