Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
