So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
