I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
