I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
