You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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