I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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