I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.