Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?