In the future we'll all be gay
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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