im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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