did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
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