Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
