is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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