You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
