Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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