He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
