HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
