note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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