It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
