Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
