You work out of a Hotel?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
