You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
