you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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