I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
