ya dads aren't the best wingmen
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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