brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
