i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
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NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
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I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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