your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
