I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
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Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
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in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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