And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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