i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
