It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
