let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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