I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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