So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
