but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
