I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
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Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
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I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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