remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
