Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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