I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Let's get the cat blown out
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
