i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Randomize
