it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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