please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
