dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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