i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
