I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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