Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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