i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
