Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
