I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
