I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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