His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
