I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Randomize
