Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
The air taste purple.
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