remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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