They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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