So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
