So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
